I’d like to state for the record that one should never by any means Google symptoms they are experiencing unless they expect WebMD to say they have “Cancer” or they are “Dying”.

I am not your typical human. However I have something that millions of Americans also have- some unknowing. I’ve always been ultra sensitive to how things involving my life work. It is no secret that change is harder for me than most people if it involves something in my life, or my job(s). I always adapt, but it could be a facade until I have to partake personally in the change. That’s when it happens. Muscles tense up. My heart beats faster. I get clam hands. Panic rushes through me. Sometimes, I quit breathing and the familiar feeling of an asthma attack comes on. But it isn’t an asthma attack- It’s a Panic attack. Puffing on my inhaler will resolve this issue. The one thing you want to do is a seemingly impossible task to complete. Just.Sit.Still. My mind is racing. I cannot breathe. How do you expect me to sit still? This, is my Anxiety Disorder rearing it’s ugly head.

What is strange about my form of anxiety? Why is it different from others? It typically isn’t my thoughts causing my attacks. You see I get overwhelmed in situations such as events with large groups of people, issues requiring big decisions, people fighting, large amounts of tasks on my plate, or when things are changed without logic (this one is my own problem). I need well set, timed out plans for what is getting done in order to manage my life. I prefer to also have a back up plan if something goes wrong. If both fail- I will have an attack. I will often not delegate tasks causing a pile up on myself and that will trigger an attack if someone starts asking where something is, when something is, or if something is done yet. I have to prioritize somewhere visible- because if I do not I feel like I am being swallowed whole.

You may be asking why I’m bothering typing this out to the world. Someone may stumble across this post and relate. All I ever want to do is help someone else know they aren’t alone. I manage my anxiety without medication. If I get overwhelmed I excuse myself from the situation and I find a quiet space where I can be alone and I say the following sentence until I calm down: ” My name is _____, I live at ________. I am __ years old. My mother is ______ and my father is _____.”

There is another technique I often use if I cannot escape others:

1. I look all around me.
2. I find 5 things I can see.
3. I find 4 things I can touch.
4. I find 3 things I can hear.
5. I find 2 things I can smell.
6. I find 1 thing I can taste.

It is called grounding. It refocuses you on things so you can calm yourself and feel back in control. If I am at home when it happens I get into a bath with headphones and an audio book or music. I find music soothes me more than most options but again, you cannot pull out your phone at work and just turn on some crooners.

If you notice your attacks becoming frequent you may need to see a doctor for more in depth treatment. Whatever you do- please know that you always have someone to talk to if you feel like you cannot handle your anxiety. Use this blog to contact me or reach out to the National Institute of Mental Health’s anxiety hotline:  1-888-826-9438.

For further contact you can find me on Twitter @kellyndodds ❤